Bonnie was honored to appear on Dia & Co's Dear Ashby segment and share her advice for plus size dating. Hint: It's all about confidence.
I’m a matchmaker, therefore I see the good and the bad of dating, men and women both. Clients come to me to find the perfect person for them. That one special guy or girl that makes them fall in love, along with the happily ever after.
My clients do date, frequently, and they are looking for long-term relationships that eventually lead to marriage and having a family. That’s why they come to me. I often find that my clients have their own specific list of what they want; Ivy League, secure financially, loves dogs, etc. and that they are looking to check all those boxes in a mate.
Before they’ve come to me, they have dated people who promise exactly what they want, but somehow never deliver on the promise, and they’re baffled.
So, I have coined a term I call “matebaiting.” Matebaiting means exactly that, they are dating and baiting the other person with exactly what the other person says they want. For example, maybe you go on a first date and outline all your “must haves” over dinner. There may be some chemistry and on the second date, isn’t it funny how the other person suddenly mentions, “hey I want to get married and have kids, soon as well.” Or hey, “I love camping and Indian food, and I’m looking for a committed relationship right now, too.”
In other words, they are matebaiting. Finding out what you want and then telling you exactly what you want to hear about a long-term relationship. These people, it can be a man or woman, are not really interested in long-term, they’re just manipulating the situation.
Often, especially for women, marriage and children is the ultimate goal, and guys know that. So be careful about revealing too much in your online profile, or in social media, or on a first or second date. There’s a lot of fish in the sea, don’t get matebaited!
We were absolutely touched and flattered by the poem esteemed writer Victoria Redel wrote for Bonnie Winston Matchmaker. It captures our very essence:
Isn't spring the time for love
or is everyday that sixth sense chance
that he walks, she walks, they walk into
a room and there the world might change.
What are you waiting for?
I know one thing, this one thing is love,
There it is and what is the blossom
that opens in the cool air of April
that might say this is your week.
The search, the solid of a gold, or
a Winston diamond. It's not for contract.
Instead, the messy match of lives and
what endures beyond any barter.
HOW TO KEEP A MAN:
1) Having him "wine and dine" you is fine for the first few weeks. But reciprocate.
Offer to cook him a meal. Do NOT think this will lead to intimate relations just because you are at home near a bedroom (after all you aren't a "Pro"). The same holds true if he offers to cook you a meal at his pad (even if he has the skills of Anthony Bourdain).
2) After a good date where he is generous or cooks you can be thoughtful by dropping off flowers either store-bought or handpicked with a vase that complements his home. A man wants to feel appreciated too.
3) If you have been intimate PRACTICE YOUR KEGEL EXERCISES daily. 1-2-3 SQUEEZE repeat 50 times daily
3. Have your nails done. Even if they are short, make sure they are clean .
4) Ladies...Pedicures with color or a french one are a must.
5) Hoops earrings are sexy. They don’t have to be big either.
6) Always smell good but don’t overdo it. French women lightly spray and then walk through the mist.
7) “Date looks” ...it’s ok to wear black, but you should dress in a jewel tone every 3 dates. Hot pink, light pink, greens and blues are in! If you google the recent Prada ads, pink is prominent. If you choose black because it slims wear colorful accessories and eye catching jewelry.
8) Look in his eyes while he speaks and not your phone. In fact turn your phone completely off! (unless you have kids, then keep on vibrate in case of an emergency)
9) Say his name while conversing.
"My boyfriend of 3 weeks and I ended up driving to Baja on a whim. There was a stray dog begging for food so I bought a few street tacos and set it on the ground for him. When I came out of the restaurant a few hours later tipsy from Karaoke and Patrón it was apparent that dog had been in a fight and was bleeding. I started to cry sloppily and went back to our hotel where I promptly passed out on top of the covers. When I woke in the AM and walked out to the terrace, Ken said "Good morning, let’s go grab breakfast and then find the dog" I knew he was "the one " because he was doing that for me.
By Lois Smith Brady
“In a sense, the person we marry is a stranger about whom we have a magnificent hunch.”-Daphne Rose Kingma
“I’ve always felt like a fish out of water, and when I met LaMott is was like he was the same fish.” -Elizabeth Burbank
“When someone asks you to marry them, you shouldn’t have to make a list of pros and cons. You just know. You jump into their arms and say, ‘Yea!’"-Stacy Cor
“The things that spark attention and interest are often mysteries, even to ourselves. So throw out the list.” - Lois Smith Brady (the writer of this herself)
Scrolling and swiping is soooo 2016.
Bonnie Winston Matchmaker will take all the unnecessary fuss out of millennial dating for you. No more ghosting, no more games. Bonnie Winston will take care of you finding you the love you deserve, no matter your age.
If you want to settle down but don't want to settle, Bonnie Winston Matchmaker can help you.
"We accept the love we think we deserve."-Stephen Chbosky